Virata Parva is the story of the Pandavas thirteenth year in exile, following the loss of their kingdom in the dice game.
https://crackpot.substack.com/t/virata
As It Rhymes
1.
Bhimasena wiped the tears from his eyes and said,
‘I will do the deed.
I will kill Kichaka and his ill breed.
2.
Now your misery is known by me.
Do not lament dear Yajnaseni.
I will not relent until Kichaka is spent.
3.
The King of Matsya built a magnificent dancehall.
The busy hall empties by nightfall.
4.
In the dancehall there is a bed.
In that bed I will introduce Kichaka to the spirits of the dead.
5.
Grant Kichaka’s death wish.
Tell Kichaka that bed is your port of call.
Do not let anyone witness your catfish.’
6.Â
Bhima and Draupadi left each other’s company.
Each spent the rest of the night gnawed by anxiety.
7.
Kichaka got up bright and early the next morning.
Kichaka went to the Sabha to court Draupadi first thing.
8.
Kichaka said,
‘The king and court saw our tussle.
Now you know I am the muscle.
9.
Matsya is king in name alone.
I own Matsya’s game of thrones.
Now you know there is no safer place to cast away your husbands’ violins than my castle.
10.
Matsya’ lord bows at your feet to the ground.Â
There are one hundred gold coins on your bed spread.Â
11.
You have one hundred servants to fetch water cool to your head.Â
Chariots yoked to horses to ferry you round.Â
Let us move past this spat and spread like butter and bread!’Â
12.
Draupadi said,
‘Kichaka, I am down.
But among your dumb buddies our tryst can’t be known.
13.
The Gandharvas give me a fright.
That aside I am good to go tonite.’
14.
Kichaka said,
‘Of course I will do just as you say so we may unite.Â
No one will know our liaison trust.
15.
Your thighs are as beautiful as plantains.
Gandharvas may blaze like the sun but I’ll make it rain.’
16.
Draupadi said,
‘Matsya’s dancehall is full by day but empties at night.
Meet me there in heaven tonight.
17.
The Gandharvas will not make us out as we walkabout in shadow.
We can be alone there no doubt - be sure no one follows.’ Â
18.
Draupadi’s heady words made Kichaka’s head spin in a bubble.
Kichaka spent part of the day spouting poetic to any rabble he could trouble to give a listen to his babble.
19.
Kichaka flitted about his house in joy like a lovesick schoolboy.
The fool’s stricken mind could not discern Sairandhri steering him toward certain doom.Â
20-21.
Kichaka soaked his chest in cologne profuse.
Kichaka bedecked bejeweled armbands in bewildered delusion.
Kichaka slipped a garland around his neck confused.Â
Kichaka was so obsessed with Draupadi’s tender kiss that he could not imagine anything amiss in her invitation to share bliss.
22.
Kichaka conceived a treasure chest of prosperous wealth as a mad wedding gift.
Kichaka spent the day counting seconds with red rose petals.
Kichaka’s imagined nirvana beckoned with bengals.Â
23.
Thus Kichaka spent the day day-dreaming in lust while his foundation crumbled to dust.Â
24.
Draupadi left Kichaka and went to Bhima’s kitchen.
25-26.
Draupadi said,
‘Kichaka will meet me at the dancehall tonight.
Here are some highlights.
27.
The son of a Suta dreams I am his by right after daylight.
The son of a Suta strutted through the Sabha like a jackboot rooster chicken.
28.
Kichaka mocks our strife.Â
Kichaka smiles and jokes my moral objections aside as though I am his dally wife.Â
29.
O’ Bharata! What I have asked of you brings me fear.
If anything happens to you in the fight I will be too miserable for life.’
30.
Bhimasena said,
‘My duty is clear.
I must broom the wannabe groom.
31.
It will be my pleasure to measure Kichaka’s doom.
I must uproot the fool to lift your gloom.
32.
I swear on Dharma.
I swear on my brothers’ karma.Â
I will ace Kichaka like Indra smoked Vritra.
33.
Soon Kichaka will buy the farm.
I will bury any king who does you harm.
34.
Next I will kill Duryodhana and retake the kingdom - come what may.
Let Kunti’s first son Yudhishthira pay King Matsya proper favor.
I am here to take his general under.’Â
35.
Draupadi said,
‘Your club and your word bear truth’s mark.
Partha, you can kill Kichaka after dark?’
36.
Bhimasena said,
‘Kichaka is mine to spark.
Soon I will free Kichaka from pain.’
37.
I will keep my act hidden.
I will take the viper’s head today.
Kichaka’s evil soul will be released.’Â
38.
Bhimasena crept to the dancehall at nightfall.
Bhima crouched in wait for Kichaka’s booty call.
39.
Kichaka entered the hall to dance with Draupadi.Â
Kichaka shivered with anticipation of their dalliance.
40.
Kichaka stalked calamity with oblivious male vanity.
41.
Kichaka crept toward Bhima in the dark.
Bhima waited in the depths of shadow like a shark.
42.
The son of a Suta climbed into bed like a honey-moon groom.
Bhima seethed as he turned in the bed to make room.Â
43.
Kichaka tossed and turned with lust.
Kichaka was so under the porch he did not see death knocking on his door.Â
44.
Kichaka said,
‘I have given my best wealth to your fine lass.
I have precious stones and servants to fill your fine wine glass.
45.
I will pamper you.
I will spoil you.Â
I will sport game to entertain you.
46.
On my way to our meet-up spot, women called me hot.
Their flatters matter not a jot to your bon mot.’
47-48.
Bhimasena said,
‘Sure your velvet lips melt knees like Velveeta cheese.
Bet you’ve never been held in arms like these.’
49.
Vaishampayana said,
Then Bhima jumped to seize Kichaka with a hideous smile.
50.
Bhima said,
‘Today your twisted sister will mourn your dead presence.
You’ll get done like a lion rides an elephant.Â
51.
You’ll be a grease stain.
And Sairandhri will be free of pain.’
52.
Kichaka’s hair ripped in Bhima’s vise grip.
Bhima tore the wedding night garland from Kichaka’s neck.
53.
Kichaka poked Bhima in the eye to slip Pandava’s python grip.
The two warriors’ arms flashed powers as flower petals fell to the floor.
54.
The two warriors clashed like mad elephants.
Kichaka’s flagrant cologne fragrance made Bhima gasp for breath.
55.
Like Vali and Sugriva, the two punched and kicked with bad intent.
55-56.
Five headed serpent fists flew.
An earthen pot crashed.
Bhima and Kichaka fought tooth and nail.
57.
Bhima took Kichaka’s bull rush straight up.
Bhima did not miss a step or trip up.
58.
The two countered and re-countered grappler moves.
They locked horns like bull moose.
59.
The two were abominable fighters.
With nails and teeth, they tore each other’s abdominals like savage tigers.
60.
The two locked arms in ghastly grasps.
The two smothered covered mouths with palms.
61.
Bhima secured a toss.
Kichaka reversed the hold to a check loss. Â
62.
The two squeezed each other in bear hugs.
Their joints exploded with ghastly pops.
63.
Vrikodara crouched then exploded a lift and throw.
Bhima tossed Kichaka like a hurricane blow.
Kichaka crashed like a comet.
The dance hall shook with impact seismic.Â
64.
Kichaka was gassed in pain.
Kichaka begged Bhima for mercy.
65.
Bhima hesitated for a moment, next Kichaka up-kicked Bhima’s face.
Then a Kichaka knee knocked Bhima off-balance.
66.
Kichaka’s body blows knocked Bhima off his feet.
Bhima did a handspring to regain his feet.Â
67.
Suta nor Pandava gained the upper hand.
The dancehall floor cracked and splintered.
68.
The dancehall walls shook asunder.
Body blows boomed like thunder.
69.
Bhima beat Kichaka’s chest.
At first Kichaka withstood Bhima’s best.
70.
Bhima split Kichaka’s guard.
Kichaka was exhausted and weak. Â
71.
Bhima felt Kichaka break in his defenses.
Bhima pressed Kichaka hard until Kichaka lost his senses.
72.
Vrikodara paused to catch his breath.
Bhima gripped Kichaka’s long hair in his fist.
73.
Bhima dragged Kichaka by his hair.
Bhima roared like a tiger in his lair.
74.
Vrikodara squeezed Kichaka with his arms.
Kichaka wheezed and spat blood.
75.
Kichaka’s teeth chattered.
Bhima bloody battered Kichaka to tatters.
76.
Vrikodara seized Kichaka’s throat.
Bhima squeezed Kichaka for Krishnaa’s insult.
77.
Then Bhima snapped Kichaka’s limbs like twigs.
Bhima used his knees to ruin Kichaka’s hips.
78.
Bhima dragged Kichaka across the ground.
Kichaka uttered a horrid sound.
79.
Bhima said,
‘Today, peace of mind is reborn.
I took the bull by the horn to remove Sairandhri’s thorn.’
80.
Bhima stripped Kichaka of bejeweled ornament.
Kichaka’s eyes rolled and his tongue lolled.
Bhima shredded Kichaka’s silken garment.
81.
Bhima squeezed Kichaka like the demon Bali.
Bhima folded Kichaka and rolled him into a hall.
82.
Bhima pushed Kichaka’s two legs and arms and head and neck into his body.
Bhima mashed Kichaka’s corpse into a lumpen ball.
83.
Having crushed his enemy’s limbs, Bhimasena presented Kichaka’s mush to Krishnaa.
84.
Bhima said to Draupadi,
‘Panchali, you are free from this oil slick.’
85.
Bhima gave Kichaka’s corpse a vicious kick.Â
86.
Bhima lit a lamp flame.
Panchali saw then what Kichaka became.
87.
Bhima said,
‘See what happens if anyone bothers you my dear?
Never again will a predator strike fear.’
88-89.
Bhima felt his wrath relent after he destroyed the miscreant.
Draupadi danced and prayed to repent.
By her dark art Kichaka lay slain.
But one stain remained.
90.
The next day Draupadi entered the Sabha like the cat that got the canary.
‘I warned you my husbands don’t play.
Come and see Kichaka’s remains today.Â
91.
In the dance hall Kichaka lies expired.Â
His thirsty eye for my thighs raised my husbands’ ire.’
92.
The vaishyas came in great numbers to see Kichaka’s destruction.
Kichaka’s ball of mud lay in a pool of blood.
93.
The people were disturbed to see Kichaka’s limbs pushed into his torso.
Who could do - no one had a clue.
94.
People said,
‘Where are his arms?
Where is his neck?
Where is his head?
What are those lumps in his chest?
Where are his legs?
Who ripped off his charms?
Who pulled out his hair?
Who stripped him bare?
Who made this mess?
Who tore open his skin?
How did all his limbs get pushed all in?
Who could? - only a God for vengeance.
Why would? - to rod the forsaken for sin.’
Notes
[2] Yajnaseni is Draupadi.Â
[13] Gandharvas are divine musicians and dancers.
Draupadi told Kichaka that she is married to Gandharvas.
Draupadi’s warning to Kichaka that her Gandharva husbands would do violence on any suitor is lost on Kichaka.
Kichaka takes the story about Gandharva husbands to be nonsense - or a challenge he scoffs at.
[19] Sairandhri is Draupadi's alias in Virata.
[22] The Sanskrit text refers to Nirvana.
[32] Dharma is duty.
Karma is work or activity.
Indra is the King of Gods. Vritra was a powerful demon-lord that Indra killed.
[34] Duryodhana is the Pandavas cousin.Â
Yudhishthira lost the kingdom in a game of dice to Duryodhana -Â
leading to the Pandavas agreeing to spend thirteen years in the forest before returning to their kingdom.
Bhima kills Duryodhana in the mace duel on day 18 of the war.
[49]
[76]Â Vrikodara is Bhima. Vrikodara means wolf's belly - owing to Bhima's legendary appetite.